SouthEast Asia is a cool place and all, but I’m quickly starting to get sick and tired of it; from how it’s always scorching hot all year round that you’re constantly sweating to also being a perfect bulls-eye target for those detestable mosquitos who sees you as a 24 hour lunch buffet – so they bring all their family and friends. Don’t get me wrong I like SouthEast Asia with its many natural beauties and risky adventures – especially Viet-Fucking-Nam!- but it’s time to move on to a different sort of atmosphere. I need a new type of change, cooler weather, and some western civilization type vibe.
My Plan Is Of Course Without Problems
The next stage of this ill-schemed and always changing plan is to head out to the land of fairy-tales called Europe. It’s on the same side of the world plus tickets are cheap. I initially planned on hitchhiking my skinny ass all the way over there -while causing some debauchery in some countries along the way- but that idea came to a screeching halt thanks to the fact that I have to pay a $140 visa fee – thanks China!
You see as an American, I’m allowed to either purchase a 30 day, 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, and a 10-year visa and no matter what the options, they all come to a cooling price of $140. When I read this my mind quickly went to thinking: why even offer the first four options, just only give us the last one, and if any Americans buy anything but the last one well then… they’re an idiot.
Originally I opted for getting the over-priced Chinese visa but quickly had a change of heart as I started planning my route to Europe as 2 problems had arisen. The first was due to the fact of Asia being more gigantic than that hunk of steel called the S.S. Titanic, it would take me a considerable amount of time to get the fuck up out of there. This was something that didn’t sit well with me; I want to get the hell out of here as soon as possible – preferably on a rocket ship.
The second problem was the Middle-East, which was a bummer as I was really looking forward to it. Thanks to my American passport my visa would once again become an issue as some visa would be difficult to obtain with one country requiring the minimum of at least a 3 month processing time. I don’t know about you but the idea of sitting and waiting patiently as some embassy employee takes their time processing my visa doesn’t sound exciting one bit at all. Since this country blocks my main route to Europe I would then have to take the only option I have left and force my way back up to China and once again be in Asia which is something I’m not thrilled about.
So to save myself some time and headache I’m redeeming my American Airlines mileage points and bomb-rushing the fuck out of Asia and straight into the belly of Europe with the ferociousness of an F-18 fighter jet on after-burners. I plan on taking off as soon as my Malaysian visa runs out which will be the first week of April.
Plan on Hitching Away Throughout Europe!
Once in Europe, I’ll immediately make my way towards the chocolate loving, waffle-eating country of Belgium where my dad resides. I haven’t seen my old man in over 14 years so it would be awesome to see him again. I can already imagine the first couple of weeks will be us catching up on lost time and visiting family, having ourselves a great old Huxtable family reunion. When that’s all said and done I’ll be using the rest of my free time exploring the small country of Belgium just taking in European culture while using my dad’s place as home base.
The next couple of months will be spent hitchhiking all over Europe with an unknown time frame. I’ll be starting from the west and make my way to the Eastern part of it. Countries to be ventured are still up for grabs but I do know I will definitely be visiting England, France, and Germany as I have family that are anxious and excited to see me again. One of the best parts about starting my trip in SouthEast Asia is that I had the pleasure of meeting a boatful of awesome European travelers who are willing to host me in their countries and show me around. It’ll be nice to see some old faces again (as well as seeing new ones!) and kick it like the good old times back in Asia.
Back Home to America Finally!
Once my time in Europe is up, I’ll finally make my way back to the United States… the long way round. I’ll kick it off by starting the voyage back from the western part of Mother Russia and hitchhike all the way to the very eastern part of the country. Once there, I’ll see if I can hitch a boat and cruise along the Bearing Strait all the way to Alaska. Originally the plan was to kayak there but after some extensive research, it seems the days of embarking on such a perilous journey have come to an end for the most part.
The last couple of years has been extremely cold that large blocks of thick sheets of ice remain all year round making it impossible to paddle through with a kayak – so that plan quickly went out the window. So boating it is and if I can’t find a crew cool enough to take me then I’ll just go with plan B and fly my way to Alaska by purchasing and expensive one-way plane ticket.
From Alaska, I’ll do some more hitchhiking to Canada and work my way into Michigan to visit family. I’ll be traveling all over the United States for quite some time while of course visiting home in Miami to see my friends and family. I’m sure they would all want to hear about my adventure as well as see and hug me again. Hopefully, I can convince some of my friends to join me on my tour across America.
I plan on doing a road trip across the country and it would be nice to do it with a childhood friend, driving off into the sunset chasing the American Dream, the only thing up for debate is if we should do it intoxicated Hunter S. Thompson style. Anything doing is worth doing right and I want to make this road trip something they can produce a movie out of – this type of lifestyle is the American Way.
I like to think and hope everything goes according to plan but as we know it nothing seems to happen that way as Life being a world class pitcher, likes to send us a couple of curveballs with laser-like precisions. Let us see what the future holds for my life and adventure – hopefully, it’ll be one for the storybooks.
What are your up and coming travel plans?